so here I am asked to help out with a couple friends of ours who have decided to get divorced...well she left him 3 day beore Chrsitmas and has moved on VERY quickly if ya know what I mean...so needless to say I disagree with her decisions. Its not a real good situation really...kids are invloved and child protective services have been called(not by me) and one child now has been taken away. The father has asked us for guidance and expressed help in looking to GOD. So ofcourse I jump at that because its what were supposed to do right? he has been absent from living Gods way and worshiping him so I felt it was my duty to bring him back. Slowly but surely I believe it will happen. I have tried with the wife for over 5 years to get her on the right path. I have asked her to church, given her books from our resource table, offered advice, listened and offered much help. She has chosen not to change her ways and now has torn a family apart. She has accused me of not helping her at all. That I have abandoned her. How can this be? what else can I do? I still pray for her salvation, pray for her kids, pray that she make the right decisions, but I cant stand by her current ones. Its toxic to my own relationship and I dont want to come off as I approve of her shenanigans! Especially when her kids are being physically and emotionally hurt. I have been accused of not being a good christian friend. So whats the right thing to do then? I feel I have done what I can...what else can I do? if anyone has that one right answer I would love to know it because right now I feel at a loss. Anyone have bible versesI can pass on to the husband? Hes more open right now as she will no longer speak to me. I offered Matthew 5(?) sermon on the mount regarding anger for him. I also had him read Romans 16:17-18. It was a daily bible reading on my blogger and it seemed appropriate for him.
I have often in the past few days wondered why God asked me to do this...I feel very clueless and and wondering if im really helping at all....
Bindus fam
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When my wife of 21 yrs suddenly decided she needed to find herself and wanted a divorce, I was devastated. Never expected it, never thought it would happen to me. I tried everything I could to change her mind including reminding her of all the Biblical reasons why this was wrong. I reminded her of all we had been through, all of God's blessings and that His will is never divorce.
To no avail.
When the day came to reluctantly sign the divorce papers, I added this verse to my signature on every page...
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." ~Matthew 19: 5-6
There is a reason God said He hates divorce (Malachi 2:16).
He does not take breaking a covenant lightly. When the two who became one flesh separate, it's as if a part of you is being ripped apart. The pain lingers often for years and there is most always a scar left.
I have found that in most cases, the reasons for divorce were not Biblical but rather, about self.
Wanting something more. Unable to give w/o expecting something in return. True love is not about getting something; It's about giving and loving, even when the other is unloveable just as God does with us.
Sadly, when someone you know is considering divorce, it's very difficult to convince them otherwise. Hearts are hardened (the result of our sin condition).
This is not to say it's impossible which is why the most important thing you can do is pray that their eyes are opened.
If someone thinks the grass will be greener on the other side of the fence, they will be sadly mistaken. They may find someone different but we're all flawed. The happiness they seek is never what will fully satisfy them because they're depending on another (sinful) person to fill that void. Leaving because you think you deserve better is not the answer. Staying and watering your own grass is the best solution.
Divorce is really no different than any other sin. Forgiveable; yes. But still a sin. As with most sins, it starts with wanting more. It starts with focusing on self and not the other and more importantly, in doing so, we reject the truth of God and try to justify our actions with self-centered excuses.
In the end, God will not stand in the way. Whatsoever our hearts desire, we are free to pursue. In the end, we risk a hardened heart, a broken relationship with Jesus Christ and worse, eternal separation from God if we've never really put our trust in Christ.
Pray for your friends. Be there for them. Love them but remain firm in the truth.
I'll keep your friends in my prayers.
~ktf~
John
Are you kidding me??? I am at just a loss for words after reading this! I am not sure how you can say you are a true christian, and have real faith in GOD with these bogus comments and acuations about a so called friend that you care about!! REALLY???? First and formost you have the story completley wrong, this person your bashing showed nothing but love and compassion for you and your family. You however do NOT have a squeaky clean past!! how dare you judge her by her hardships and beat her down!! a real christian friend would stop at nothing to try and show support, love and faith to help your friend! I personally know of the person you speak of and this is complete slander! she is a caring, loving person who trusted you as a FRIEND and wears her heart on her sleeve!! shame on you! you have as much faith in religion or GOD as most ppl have in there pinky finger!! your so quick to judge and post on this blog to clear your own conscious of your own indiscretions and infidelities that led you to contract a STD, How may i ask you are you a true christian???? I am a firm believer in KARMA, and you will get bit in the a$$, its a known fact! you cant go through life being fake as a three dollor bill and throw a dagger in your so call friends back with no reprocutions!! I personally know the person you speak of and im in utter discusTof how you are slandering her and making her out to be some unfit mother!! WRONG!!! she is a wonderful friend, mother and wife! you however are capitalizing on her hardship for your own sick amusement!! your disgusting and you will meet your maker!! your dancing with the devil, not with the lord!! all i can say is may GOD have mercy on your soul!! ENOUGH SAID!!
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