Bindus fam

Bindus fam

Friday, December 5, 2008

What I "got" from Ecuador...







my mind is on system overload from my trip so ill make this easy more for me than you...






I learned that:



1. It really can take just 1-2 people to make a difference!



2. I child is more resilient than we know!



3. You don't need "things" to be happy



4. A humans will power to survive is an amazing thing



5. Americans are spoiled



6. Even most Americans at the "poverty level" are still wealthy compared to what I saw in Ecuador!



7. Bonds and life long friendships really can happen in one week!



8. "~" this sign really can make a difference of what you are saying in spanish...anos or anos with the squiggly(lol)



9. I dont know as much spanish as i thought!



10. having a sister is a beautiful thing that shouldnt be taken for granted!



11. that i dont need to be on a beach with an umbrella drink and a pool to have a great vacation..although im not crazy those are nice too!



12. how a heart can completely melt when a child who has nothing can still have a BIG beautiful smile and so much love in their heart!



13. That God is very visible all you have to do is LOOK!



14 that I cannot wait to do another mission!



15. Im no longer going to freak out if I dont have "enough" under the Christmas tree and wether rock band is going to be in b4 Christmas or not...my kids will not die!(or Craig either! LOL)






God Bless!



Monday, November 3, 2008

halloween it was so fun!











Just a few pics of our halloween! we had a blast!

Monday, October 6, 2008

what im grateful for...

ok so I tell my kids lately when they are being selfish and negative to tell one thing they are grateful for. Abbey it helps...Maddie well her 9 year old diva attitude may need a miracle...so today im not feeling well( got that darn cold!) and im feeling alittle edgy and blah so Ill take my own advice...

Today Im grateful for:

1. God being in my life...without him nothing is possible
2. a wonderful God loving , loyal, forgiving and i must say good looking husband
3. awesome friends
4. the chance to go on our Ecuador mission trip
5. My Aunt and my grandmother and cousin,my only remaining immediate family
6. My beautiful healthy daughters!
7.a stable job that I finally like
8. wine!!! =)
9. The River Community church
10. the abilty to now own my mothers car which helped us out huge!
11. knowing my mother is with God and not hurting anymore...
12. a day off so i can go back to bed now since the kids are off to school...*sneeze...*sniff...

Have a GOD filled day!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

weird how God works sometimes..through email form friends

I came to my computer ready to just speak of my sad feelings on feeling like im being fazed out of my mothers former life. Im getting things of hers returned to me that were alot of me in her home leaving none of me there. My mother was remarried so I wasnt exactly "his daughter" too. SO i had been bummed all day but before I logged on i read an email form a good friend and made me look at things another way...I started my day as a carrot and I plan to end my day a cup of good ol coffee...youll understand after you read it! see below:

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee... You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.> > A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.> > Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She l et them sit and boil; without saying a word.> > In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.'> > 'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.> > Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.> > Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'> > Her mother explained that! each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.> > 'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?> > Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?> > Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?> > Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?> > May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.> > The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.> > When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.> > Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

im venting and journaling online bear with me

Im having a hard day today...well hard past few weeks. I was told by a friend to start journaling so here it is online. I found out today my mothers cause of death. It was accidental oxycontin/diphenhydramine(benadryl) abuse/overdose. I was obviously upset. I now find myself angry. I cant pinpoint at exactly who. Im kinda angry at my mom as sad as that is. She was a nurse who should have known better. Im mad at the doctor who prescribed it to her, im mad at people at home with her not monitoring what she was taking. Im mad at myself for not paying attention when she seemed "high" on the phone. My mother had a prescription drug addiction problem years back and has struggled with pain and addiction for many years. So I would think that her doctor knowing this would not have knowingly put her on oxycontin...the most highly addictive drug there is. She herself knew this too. Its so easy to OD on this too its scary. Kids on the street are dying from accidental OD's of this drug. so why then I ask is it ok to give to my mom, who had a history of narc abuse in the first place. She also had underactive thyroid, curvature of the spine, gallbladder disease and bladder issues all of which are listed as "dont take if you have these issues" section. Im just so angry. Im sad that I cannot fix it. Im sad and upset that this all could have been prevented. 'If only I had...." i cant sleep at night, im anxious all of the time, stressed to my limit and just plain spent. I want it to stop. I want my normal life back, my happy life back where im not crying all of the time, excited to see my kids after school, glad to make dinner for my family and enjoy intimate time with my husband. I feel like my life is in slow motion if not halted all together. I know none of what I think or do will change anything or bring her back which in itself is frustrating so now what...what do I do? I feel like jumping ontop of a mountain and yelling for people to pay attention to your health....watch what you take...ask questions...and for doctors to please give a damn about their patients. Know who they are, take the time to care and look at their history. Stop handing out pill after pill to mask the issue...find out what the real issue is!!!!!! so many people in healthcare just dont care anymore about other people...why is it like this? what happened to compassion in this world? why does noone give a crap??? in the past year my mom had surgery, dropped on her back, pushed into a direction forcefully because the xray tech was in a hurry which broke her sacrum which led to another surgery(redo), which led to nurses on the floor ignoring her pain, doctors blowing off her pain, more pills and more pills and the bladder issues from nerve damage still gone untreated...just gave more pills, making my mother left to feel even more hopeless and in pain which has eventually lead to this...taking more than she should have to ease her pain and now shes gone,,,too much oxycontin lead to respiratory failure which led to cardiac arrest which lead to death at 57. Leaving behind a family in shock, and in sadness. A girl now with no parents(me) 2 little girls with no grandmother, a husband with no wife and my grandmother at 84 now without one of her children. It all just makes me crazy. How can I make my mind stop just going over it? does it get easier? and could someone please pray that this will all get easier for me?
ok sorry to be so gloomy i had to journal it out....get it off my mind , off my chest...so here it is...

Sunday, September 14, 2008

siskel and Bindus

Wow Craig and I watched the Bucket list lastnight on DVD. What a great, touching, thought provoking movie. It really correlates with the book im reading 1 month to live. Im sitting here thinking to myself whats on my bucket list? I will have to get back to you on this and let you know when I have made my list...which, like theirs will always be added to. Do you have a bucket list? Why not start one now...why wait til you are told you're dying?

We also watched Nims Island with the girls. It was very cute! Craig didnt say much but Maddie, Abbey and I loved it. It had such great imagination. Really makes you understand how your imagination can run wild when you read a book. I know mine does! I love getting so into a book that I can picture myself there and just cannot put a book down!!

Next movie...300. we havent seen it yet and the scenes at church last week made us want to watch it!...oh and pineapple express too...

Monday, September 8, 2008

my thoughts as well...

Sunday our pastor Terry couldnt have said it better...satan is pissed(well that wasnt his word but yaknow...) and is attacking us everywhere. Dont be surprised if you are attacked...put your armor on and be ready to fight back with the shield of GOD. He also mentioned he has not heard of so many family crisis's all at once as what is happening at the river families now. I have to agree...everytime I turn around I hear another story of a divorce, death, loss of a job, terminal illness, and financial struggle. My family has been hit pretty hard in a few areas. All i can say is love your life for what you have, who your with and appreciate all of the blessings GOD has given you. Tell people how you feel and love them! You never know when it may be gone just like that. You never know when Satan will attack and you or someone you know may lose that battle. We need to pray all of the time for protection over our marriages, our children, our homes and all of our decisions in everyday life. I will pray this prayer for all of my friends and also some who may not be also!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

oh the unfairness

ok so im just here to vent i guess...where is the fairness in all of this...I watch these dateline shows and see this man who weighs 700 pounds...after he just lost 300 pounds. Hes the fattest man in the record books. Oddly enough all of his labs are great! even his cholesterol is great. He is Mexican which you would think all of the lard they use in theyre cooking his cholesterol for sure would be through the roof. Not the case. Now lets switch over to Fenton Mi. There is me...im not obese ok so I could lose 15 pounds but im not morbidly obese, fairly in shape and yes im pushing it saying that but im not a couch potato! I eat well, watch fat and cholesterol content, drink smoothies with flax seed in the morning etc. I get my labs drawn and my cholesterol is 205. My "bad" cholesterol is bad and my "good" is low. So me at my ripe young age of 34 im now on cholesterol medicine for the rest of my life. I was told today that I am at hight risk for heart disease and stroke and with family history sudden cardiac death if I dont take this medicine! I was pretty upset about this! I know some of you think its not a big deal really...but this is me...i worry alot...im the pic next to the definition in the dictionary! I know that I need to lean on God more and have way more faith and i am working on it. so I guess I need prayers to have more faith that God will take care of me and I need to not worry so much. but...really...the fat man is all good other than weighing 700 pounds...im just sayin'....

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

ahhh vacation what else can I say




Oscoda MI. Camping, fishing, s'mores, sleeping with the top off the tent..getting to hear w.t next to your site LOL...time spent with the fam! It was aweosme

great idea on making your kids think twice...

I got into a conversation with a friend of mine at work about my hopeful mission trip to Ecuador. I was telling her how I wished I could take my girls and have them learn a thing or two. " My girls really have no idea how good they have it" , I was saying. They always want more. Im so hell bent on trying to get my girls to follow Jesus and want to help and love onto others. Am I crazy to want this at their age??? Its mainly the older one who is very into her friends, clothes, jonas brothers and hanna montana...like OMG!!!...LOL. ANyway My friend Laurie told me this story about her friend. Her friend Bobby Jo was married to a very wealthy family. SO wealthy that she ended up leaving her husband because she was unable to have a life because the whole family made one for her and never let her make decisions. It was all based on fortune and fame and prestige. She had a daughter from this marriage. She had since remarried and had 2 other kids. Her oldest daugher is with her dad every other weekend as usual in divorces. For her birthdays and Christmas between the dad and her grandmother she was spoiled rotten.. Anything she wanted she got. She may as well have been Paris Hilton. When she returned home she was horrible because her mom and step dad were no match for the gifts given to her. One birthday her mom asked her after she got home from receiving lavish gifts form daddy and said I thought for your birthday we could go shopping, you can buy 5 outfits and well go to lunch! Her daughter was ecstatic!! They went to all of her favorite stores, she picked out her favorite clothes all 5 outfits were to die for. Then when they got into the car her mom said "ok..now all of those outfits you just got, were going down to the rescue mission a nd youre going to give those to 5 girls who need them." The daughter obvioulsly stunned thought her mom was crazy, but her mom stood strong on it. "and youre going to give it them with a smile on your face" This girl was 10 years old at this time. So they did....and she did. Then her mom said(with permission from the mission and a chaperone) she took all five girls out with them for lunch. After the whole day was over...her daughter was pretty quiet in the car until she looked over at her mom and said" mom....do people really live like this? they really have nothing?" Isnt that amazing what this mom did for her daughter???? She is 15 now and do you know she goes ON HER OWN to the rescue mission and helps out and donates every year since! What a christ-like example this mother showed to her kids! Again...I can only hope that I can do this for my own girls....anyone in for trying????...all part of my divine flick im getting...

feel like i keep getting divine flicks...

Its so awesome how you can be at work and run into some of the most awesome people. I have had the pleasure of meeting a father in law of one of my patients. My patient was deaf. Her husband is deaf also. Her father in law and son came in to visit and he talked to me for about an hour about his life and his son and how the son met his wife at the school for the deaf in Flint many years ago. The Father in law is a retired principle in the flint area. Im so amazed at what this man did for the city of flint. During his tenure, he got grants and started a program for pregnant and already mother teens. It was called cradle care. It was a school that had daycare for ages 0-4. He saw that msot of these teens dropped out and he felt a need to stop it. He also got a grant for a free immunization clinic for his students and their families. He personally made house calls to see how someone was and also would pick kids up from home and take them to school if the family had no car. There was soo much more but Im just in awe of what a wonderful man this was. He and his wife now care for their 2 grandkids whose mother is very ill and in the hospital(my patient). They were very well spoken, polite and sweet! He has been married for 54 years!!! If only I have the chance to make a difference in the world and have jesus work through me like this man!! You should hear the way he "disciplined" his students. So God like and awesome!! Teachers listen up! Obviously in inner city Flint it can get rough and you can have parents who dont really take part in their childrens lives. Many were suspended often. He started a plan where he would call the parents, who would give countless excuses on why they couldnt really help in theprob and he gave them a choice. Your kid gets 5 days suspension or just 4 and you cme in and sit with them for one whole day and only there to discipline! Youcannot help him, talk to him etc...just discipline when needed. He said "let me tell you how many parents by the end of the day were ready to discipline junioe...who wants to sit and miss work just to sit in a class and not do anything but be ready to discipline". It had a profound effect on hsi students and the way parents stepped up. anyway I had to share!!!
God Bless Mr. Lillard! At a time when I thought Flint was covered by Satan stands a shining light!!!

Monday, July 28, 2008

ohh man were getting older...

Craig and I play on the River softball team. Let me tell you when I was young nothing hurt or twinged or stung like it does now when we exert any kind of energy! Last week we looked like we just got back from some P.O.W. camp. Craig barely able to move his back was out and quads killing him...me my quads and lastnight I got wacked by a fast ball in right field no less leaving my arm achy and numb for a bit! Others on our team have sore knees, ankles, arms, hips...its like were closer to a retirement home than we think LOL. Is there really that much of a difference between our 20's and 30's and well for some 40's?? it doesnt feel like it most days but until you go play a sport again...geez watch out assisted living here we come! In any even we are bleesed to have so many good Godly friends to play with! We always have a blast even though were losing most of it. The most fun is the togetherness we have after the games. We go to eat and have a few and relax! we find out some of the funniest things about each other then. Marcy really loved WWF to whre she actually had parties for it...what??? LOL too funny! Shane really put the moves on her too...well wrestling moves anyway...LOL. Its funny how some of the people in our little group arent ready for a "lifegroup" yet but wether they likeit or not we are a life group...we are doing life together, the good way, the way God intended and bringing others in our group as we go...God works ina ll kinds of ways!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

My "Lobster" my rock!


This is my handsome hubby Craig! Thank God he stuck by me through thick and thin! I trust him with my life! He is an aewsome daddy and husband I couldnt ask for more!

My Drama Queen Maddie


Maddie is my drama queen. God love her. She is 9 years old and smart as a whip! She does very well in school and is a social butterfly. She makes friends very easily. Matter of fact most of Abbeys friends play with her instead...I know kinda sad for Abbey. Were working on it. Im amazed at how easily things come for Maddie. She rarely needs explaining on how things work. She usually just knows how to do it. She showed me how to hook up nintendo one day. I couldnt believe it! She is definantely daddies girl! She is sooo much like him its scary! Whatch out if she doesnt get her way though...ooohhh man its drama city. I really have thought about getting her into theater though!

Abbey is 7...

Isnt it funny how life can get going so fast and you just find yourself going with the flow that you wake up one morning and find your baby is turning 7?? It felt like yesterday that my beautiful 4pound 5 oz bundle of joy came into this world way too early. I vividly remember laying in the hospital for 10 weeks prior to today 7 years ago miserable and feeling sorry for myself thinking geez im missing out on summer and time with my other baby girl Maddie. She was only 2 at the time. I remember only being able to get up to go the bathroom if even that and having no one to talk to for days. Through it all though Craig would go to work all day, get off work get Maddie from the sitter, make dinner and bring it up to me in the hospital. He usually grilled something like chicken and potatoes and corn on the cob. He would stay for a while and then Maddie would get out of hand and he would have to leave and I would cry knowing I was going to be alone. Alone contemplating what would happen to our baby if she was born this day or the next day. Each day was another day down to her bening able to make it. My water broke at 24 weeks. This how it started. I made some friends who were in similar situations there. All of us in bed. we laughed and cried together. I was the last to have my baby. I delivered Abigail Paige on July 24th 2001 at 34 weeks. She had to have oxygen amd a feeding tube. She was sooo tiny I thought I would break her if I moved funny. She wasnt eating well from me so I had to bottle feed her. along with the feeding tube. For 2 weeks I would be there all day with her and then have to return home without my beautiful baby and I would cry and cry until the next day I could get up and go be with her again. She finally came home on August 8th 2001. I swear since then life has passed us by. Its amazing how certain things can be placed up on a shelf and forgotten for a while and other things seem to take control of your mind and whats important. Craig and I went through a period that wasnt so nice. Maddie started to act out, life just got bad. I hated my job and just was lost. I had this hole in my life that no matter what I bought or who I conversed with it never seem to get better! That is until one day when we hit rock bottom and God spoke to me telling me to turn it around. take my hands off that wheel and let him take over. Its been almost 4 years now and life is awesome. Craig and I have the best relationship and love each other more that I thought we ever could. My kids are lovers of Christ and even my dog is behaving!! Go figure. God works on animals too! LOL. I can serenly now look back on the days since Abbeys birth and remember the wonderful things that Craig and I shared and the hard moments we made it through that really made us stronger. I can look today at the miracle of my youngest daughter making it into this world and see that Gods work was there all along even when we werent seeing him. For that I eternally will thank God for watching over me and my family when were not sure of where we were going! He is an awesome God and a forgiving God. Hard to believe its been 7 years since life took a turn. To one of my 2 beautiful babies, Happy Birthday! And to Craig, thank you for being there for me and loving me then when I couldnt see what was right in front of me. God definantley brought you to me and our girls!