so here I am asked to help out with a couple friends of ours who have decided to get divorced...well she left him 3 day beore Chrsitmas and has moved on VERY quickly if ya know what I mean...so needless to say I disagree with her decisions. Its not a real good situation really...kids are invloved and child protective services have been called(not by me) and one child now has been taken away. The father has asked us for guidance and expressed help in looking to GOD. So ofcourse I jump at that because its what were supposed to do right? he has been absent from living Gods way and worshiping him so I felt it was my duty to bring him back. Slowly but surely I believe it will happen. I have tried with the wife for over 5 years to get her on the right path. I have asked her to church, given her books from our resource table, offered advice, listened and offered much help. She has chosen not to change her ways and now has torn a family apart. She has accused me of not helping her at all. That I have abandoned her. How can this be? what else can I do? I still pray for her salvation, pray for her kids, pray that she make the right decisions, but I cant stand by her current ones. Its toxic to my own relationship and I dont want to come off as I approve of her shenanigans! Especially when her kids are being physically and emotionally hurt. I have been accused of not being a good christian friend. So whats the right thing to do then? I feel I have done what I can...what else can I do? if anyone has that one right answer I would love to know it because right now I feel at a loss. Anyone have bible versesI can pass on to the husband? Hes more open right now as she will no longer speak to me. I offered Matthew 5(?) sermon on the mount regarding anger for him. I also had him read Romans 16:17-18. It was a daily bible reading on my blogger and it seemed appropriate for him.
I have often in the past few days wondered why God asked me to do this...I feel very clueless and and wondering if im really helping at all....
Bindus fam
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Friday, December 5, 2008
What I "got" from Ecuador...
my mind is on system overload from my trip so ill make this easy more for me than you...
I learned that:
1. It really can take just 1-2 people to make a difference!
2. I child is more resilient than we know!
3. You don't need "things" to be happy
4. A humans will power to survive is an amazing thing
5. Americans are spoiled
6. Even most Americans at the "poverty level" are still wealthy compared to what I saw in Ecuador!
7. Bonds and life long friendships really can happen in one week!
8. "~" this sign really can make a difference of what you are saying in spanish...anos or anos with the squiggly(lol)
9. I dont know as much spanish as i thought!
10. having a sister is a beautiful thing that shouldnt be taken for granted!
11. that i dont need to be on a beach with an umbrella drink and a pool to have a great vacation..although im not crazy those are nice too!
12. how a heart can completely melt when a child who has nothing can still have a BIG beautiful smile and so much love in their heart!
13. That God is very visible all you have to do is LOOK!
14 that I cannot wait to do another mission!
15. Im no longer going to freak out if I dont have "enough" under the Christmas tree and wether rock band is going to be in b4 Christmas or not...my kids will not die!(or Craig either! LOL)
God Bless!
Monday, November 3, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
what im grateful for...
ok so I tell my kids lately when they are being selfish and negative to tell one thing they are grateful for. Abbey it helps...Maddie well her 9 year old diva attitude may need a miracle...so today im not feeling well( got that darn cold!) and im feeling alittle edgy and blah so Ill take my own advice...
Today Im grateful for:
1. God being in my life...without him nothing is possible
2. a wonderful God loving , loyal, forgiving and i must say good looking husband
3. awesome friends
4. the chance to go on our Ecuador mission trip
5. My Aunt and my grandmother and cousin,my only remaining immediate family
6. My beautiful healthy daughters!
7.a stable job that I finally like
8. wine!!! =)
9. The River Community church
10. the abilty to now own my mothers car which helped us out huge!
11. knowing my mother is with God and not hurting anymore...
12. a day off so i can go back to bed now since the kids are off to school...*sneeze...*sniff...
Have a GOD filled day!
Today Im grateful for:
1. God being in my life...without him nothing is possible
2. a wonderful God loving , loyal, forgiving and i must say good looking husband
3. awesome friends
4. the chance to go on our Ecuador mission trip
5. My Aunt and my grandmother and cousin,my only remaining immediate family
6. My beautiful healthy daughters!
7.a stable job that I finally like
8. wine!!! =)
9. The River Community church
10. the abilty to now own my mothers car which helped us out huge!
11. knowing my mother is with God and not hurting anymore...
12. a day off so i can go back to bed now since the kids are off to school...*sneeze...*sniff...
Have a GOD filled day!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
weird how God works sometimes..through email form friends
I came to my computer ready to just speak of my sad feelings on feeling like im being fazed out of my mothers former life. Im getting things of hers returned to me that were alot of me in her home leaving none of me there. My mother was remarried so I wasnt exactly "his daughter" too. SO i had been bummed all day but before I logged on i read an email form a good friend and made me look at things another way...I started my day as a carrot and I plan to end my day a cup of good ol coffee...youll understand after you read it! see below:
A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee... You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.> > A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.> > Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She l et them sit and boil; without saying a word.> > In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.'> > 'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.> > Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.> > Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'> > Her mother explained that! each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.> > 'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?> > Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?> > Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?> > Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?> > May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.> > The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.> > When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.> > Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee... You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.> > A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.> > Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She l et them sit and boil; without saying a word.> > In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.'> > 'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.> > Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.> > Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'> > Her mother explained that! each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.> > 'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?> > Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?> > Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?> > Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?> > May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.> > The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.> > When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.> > Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
im venting and journaling online bear with me
Im having a hard day today...well hard past few weeks. I was told by a friend to start journaling so here it is online. I found out today my mothers cause of death. It was accidental oxycontin/diphenhydramine(benadryl) abuse/overdose. I was obviously upset. I now find myself angry. I cant pinpoint at exactly who. Im kinda angry at my mom as sad as that is. She was a nurse who should have known better. Im mad at the doctor who prescribed it to her, im mad at people at home with her not monitoring what she was taking. Im mad at myself for not paying attention when she seemed "high" on the phone. My mother had a prescription drug addiction problem years back and has struggled with pain and addiction for many years. So I would think that her doctor knowing this would not have knowingly put her on oxycontin...the most highly addictive drug there is. She herself knew this too. Its so easy to OD on this too its scary. Kids on the street are dying from accidental OD's of this drug. so why then I ask is it ok to give to my mom, who had a history of narc abuse in the first place. She also had underactive thyroid, curvature of the spine, gallbladder disease and bladder issues all of which are listed as "dont take if you have these issues" section. Im just so angry. Im sad that I cannot fix it. Im sad and upset that this all could have been prevented. 'If only I had...." i cant sleep at night, im anxious all of the time, stressed to my limit and just plain spent. I want it to stop. I want my normal life back, my happy life back where im not crying all of the time, excited to see my kids after school, glad to make dinner for my family and enjoy intimate time with my husband. I feel like my life is in slow motion if not halted all together. I know none of what I think or do will change anything or bring her back which in itself is frustrating so now what...what do I do? I feel like jumping ontop of a mountain and yelling for people to pay attention to your health....watch what you take...ask questions...and for doctors to please give a damn about their patients. Know who they are, take the time to care and look at their history. Stop handing out pill after pill to mask the issue...find out what the real issue is!!!!!! so many people in healthcare just dont care anymore about other people...why is it like this? what happened to compassion in this world? why does noone give a crap??? in the past year my mom had surgery, dropped on her back, pushed into a direction forcefully because the xray tech was in a hurry which broke her sacrum which led to another surgery(redo), which led to nurses on the floor ignoring her pain, doctors blowing off her pain, more pills and more pills and the bladder issues from nerve damage still gone untreated...just gave more pills, making my mother left to feel even more hopeless and in pain which has eventually lead to this...taking more than she should have to ease her pain and now shes gone,,,too much oxycontin lead to respiratory failure which led to cardiac arrest which lead to death at 57. Leaving behind a family in shock, and in sadness. A girl now with no parents(me) 2 little girls with no grandmother, a husband with no wife and my grandmother at 84 now without one of her children. It all just makes me crazy. How can I make my mind stop just going over it? does it get easier? and could someone please pray that this will all get easier for me?
ok sorry to be so gloomy i had to journal it out....get it off my mind , off my chest...so here it is...
ok sorry to be so gloomy i had to journal it out....get it off my mind , off my chest...so here it is...
Sunday, September 14, 2008
siskel and Bindus
Wow Craig and I watched the Bucket list lastnight on DVD. What a great, touching, thought provoking movie. It really correlates with the book im reading 1 month to live. Im sitting here thinking to myself whats on my bucket list? I will have to get back to you on this and let you know when I have made my list...which, like theirs will always be added to. Do you have a bucket list? Why not start one now...why wait til you are told you're dying?
We also watched Nims Island with the girls. It was very cute! Craig didnt say much but Maddie, Abbey and I loved it. It had such great imagination. Really makes you understand how your imagination can run wild when you read a book. I know mine does! I love getting so into a book that I can picture myself there and just cannot put a book down!!
Next movie...300. we havent seen it yet and the scenes at church last week made us want to watch it!...oh and pineapple express too...
We also watched Nims Island with the girls. It was very cute! Craig didnt say much but Maddie, Abbey and I loved it. It had such great imagination. Really makes you understand how your imagination can run wild when you read a book. I know mine does! I love getting so into a book that I can picture myself there and just cannot put a book down!!
Next movie...300. we havent seen it yet and the scenes at church last week made us want to watch it!...oh and pineapple express too...
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